Ask HN: How to make living easier for old parents?

by gits1225on 7/25/2022, 7:05 PMwith 4 comments

by mswenon 7/25/2022, 7:39 PM

It all depends.... if we were having a private conversation I would be asking about all of the following. But I wouldn't really recommend getting too specific about some of these on a public forum.

> How old?

> Current health status? Chronic illnesses? Cognitive health?

> Current level of independence or dependence for daily living?

> Recognition of need for assistance?

> Level of wealth, property, investments and liquid cash?

> Level of income - degree still dependent on parents working FT, PT or now on pension, social security or other retirement monthly income?

> Level of debts needing to be paid off or serviced?

> Presence of non-family social support?

> Living proximity to you?

> How much time monthly can you devout to helping?

> What is your own financial strength and ability / willingness to help financially?

> What level of trust do your parents have in you?

> How comfortable are your parents with technology?

> Do your parents have access to high speed internet?

> Availability of assisted living and/or nursing home facilities

> And more

I personally have walked a pretty long road of being the lead caregiver, guardian during 20 years of declining health and increased dependence from my own parents with each eventually dying in their mid-80s.

It feels like the only generic advice is something like the following.

> Spend regular time with them and pay attention to changes

> Keep their dignity in mind - no one likes the process of becoming more dependent on others

> Be willing to calmly but firmly advocate for them with doctors and institutional caregivers

> Technology may not help nearly as much as you imagine

> Effective assistance will be more expensive in time and money than you currently envision

by enviclashon 7/25/2022, 8:49 PM

Keep renovating details of their home. Find an unemployed person that can visit/accompany/drive them (doctors, shpping, small home repairs, ...) on a regular basis, like weekly. Find and kick-start them a small orchard. These made a difference in my limited experience.

by helph67on 7/25/2022, 9:54 PM

You could do them (and yourself) a favour by telling them how good the Mediterranean diet is for their health. https://edition.cnn.com/2022/01/04/health/mediterranean-diet...